As we continue to deal with COVID-19, we are simultaneously experiencing the tumult, outrage, and heartache associated with racism. No matter where we sit on the spectrum of emotions, it is impossible for our mental health to be unaffected. Because the topics at hand are emotional and highly-flammable, our responses to such are, as well.

Without the ability, willingness, and courage to sift and sort through the myriad of things going on in our heads and hearts, we suffer. Our mental and emotional health suffers. Our work, our health, our relationships, and our world suffers.

A recent article by the Harvard Business Review provides data:

“Since the outbreak of the pandemic, 75 percent of people say they feel more socially isolated, 67 percent of people report higher stress, 57 percent are feeling great anxiety, and 53 percent say they feel more emotionally exhausted.

It’s worth noting that these stats are related to the pandemic alone, not the larger complexities within which we’re living. It’s also worth noting that though we see words like “socially isolated,” “stress,” “anxiety,” and “emotionally exhausted,” many of us do not know what words to use to describe all that we’re feeling. And even if we do, we’re often loathed to speak them out loud.

Talking about our emotions, for many of us, is not a skill we’ve learned, nor has it been affirmed, even allowed – especially in the workplace. That gap, the empty space between what we feel and what we actually say in conversations and relationships, is in large part, what drives a lack of mental and emotional health.

I’m very familiar with that gap, believe me.

I was 40 when I entered grad school. Part of the program requirements included that I should be in therapy – a brand new experience for me!

Those 50-minute sessions over 3 years were the first times I’d ever listened to myself talk (outside of the chatter in my head or conversations with close friends). The first time I’d heard myself name out loud to anyone other than myself where, how, and why I was feeling pain. The first time I was really listened to with that level of intensity, even intimacy. It was transformational. And it was incredibly difficult. It still is.

Now I work at Fierce Conversations – an organization that trains others on how to have conversations that matter, that make an impact, that create and strengthen relationships that not only drive results but enhance all of life. Over and over we talk about emotions – why they matter, must be named, and how effective leadership depends upon such. This still is not easy – for us or our clients.

We’re not alone. Another article from Harvard Business Review says, “We hide emotions in an attempt to stay in control, look strong, and keep things at arm’s length. But in reality, doing so diminishes our control and weakens our capacity to lead – because it hamstrings us. We end up not saying what we mean or meaning what we say. We beat around the bush. And that never connects, compels, or communicates powerfully.”

We can do better.

Talking (out loud) about our own emotions and encouraging/allowing the same in those around us is a skill we must build and a priority we must hold.

We must create and sustain work (and family) cultures that value, even expect that people will name their concerns, anxiety, and fears just as easily as their delight, celebration, and joy.

If all we did was look at this through an ROI lens, we’d reach the same conclusion. A case study published by Forbes makes the following point:

“Evidence shows that investing in employee well-being can deliver bottom-line returns. And when companies approach well-being as a core business strategy, and not solely to lower employer healthcare costs, it can lead to measurable ROI through higher engagement, lower turnover, and better productivity.”

Did I mention that none of this is easy? Do I need to mention that the absence of this: is our denial or refusal of expressed feelings (and opinions, beliefs, thoughts), is at least in part, responsible for the trauma and pain we’re living in daily?

Because we’ve not allowed for and invited others’ articulated experiences and emotions, the gap has gotten wider and wider. Safety has been sucked out of far too many conversational contexts, and every kind of health – not just emotional and mental – is up for grabs: social, financial, organizational, cultural, environmental, global…the list goes on.

Steps to Take Care of Your Mental Health

No, not one bit of this is easy. But there are small, actionable steps we can take.

1. Be aware of your own emotions.

You have them, whether you talk about them, or not. What if you did? What are they? What, exactly, do you feel? When you feel these things, how does that impact your behavior – and subsequent results? Where and with whom can you name this without risk? As leaders, we cannot expect to create a safe space for others’ emotions (or emotional health) if we’re not aware of our own.

2. Ask about others’ emotions.

No agenda. No fixing. No talk of silver-linings. Simple questions asked genuinely go a long way: “What’s going on for you?” “How are you, really?” “When you consider those potential outcomes, what do you feel?” Then wait. Breathe through your own discomfort with the silence. Listen. And trust that if asked – with sincerity, consistency, and compassion – people will respond.

It takes consistency and commitment to have healthy interactions – let alone be healthy people. But to deny any of it is to our peril – individually and collectively.

Have healthy conversations with yourself. Have healthy conversations with others. Talk about health – emotional, mental, and any other forms! All of it defined by curiosity, openness, and grace.

A quote we repeat time and again at Fierce serves as mantra and motivation: “Though no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a company, a relationship, or a life [even the world]…any single conversation can.”

Some “trajectory changing” is what we most desperately need today – at work, at home, as a nation, as a planet.

Single conversations are what enable and empower all of this; single conversations that acknowledge, allow for, and invite (out loud) emotions – and emotional health. Simple, not easy. And truly, non-negotiable. One conversation at a time.

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Tags: #Change Management, #Company Culture, #COVID-19, #Fierce News, #Mental Health

The post How to Take Care of Your Mental Health During Times of Crisis appeared first on Fierce.

“We’ll make things better by seeing, by speaking, by doing the work. Even if it’s uncomfortable, especially when it is.” ~ Seth Godin

This quote is profound, written in response to what we’re experiencing these days: Amy Cooper, George Floyd, protests, riots, and looting.

And it’s true.

True, but not easy.

Though “easy” isn’t the goal, it is, most often, our inclination. We search for easy answers and the easy way out. When things are complicated, difficult, and rife with misunderstanding, we desperately long for a quick-and-easy fix.
There is no “easy” to be found, nor is longing for such an appropriate use of our energy, our focus, or our time. Not now. Not ever.

Seeing is what we must do.

Speaking is required.

Doing the work is non-negotiable.

Even if it’s uncomfortable, especially when it is.

At Fierce, we are quick to acknowledge that we do not sit in a position of authority on any of our world’s current pain points. We do not have answers. We definitely do not have a quick-and-easy fix. What we do have is questions, grief, confusion, and a deep desire for change, for rekindled hope, for healing.

Toward those ends, we are having conversations: with each other about what we think, what we feel, what we sense, what we know – and mostly what we don’t know. Not easy. Not perfectly or even consistently. Often uncomfortable.

We are clear: conversation is the only thing that offers the possibility of much-needed change. Not conversation to prove ourselves right — conversation that provokes learning, that invites curiosity, that is for the sake of understanding above all else.

One of the primary ideas we live by is that the conversation is the relationship. It’s simple math, really. What we put into our conversations equals the kind of relationship we experience.

If I put honesty, authenticity, and courage into my conversations, I will have relationships defined by the same. If I withhold what I’m really thinking and feeling, chances are high the people around me are doing the same. The conversation stops. The relationship does, as well.

And isn’t that what we’re seeing and experiencing around us today? An accumulation of failed or missing conversations. A breaking down of relationships of social constructs and contracts, of rules, of expectations, even of hope.

What would have been different if Amy Cooper had a conversation instead of spouting accusations and threats?
What would have been different if Officer Derek Chauvin had a conversation with George Floyd instead of using a murderous force?

What would be different if protestors, rioters, and looters were actually heard, listened to, and given voice in conversation, by those they are reacting to?

And what would be different in our workplaces, our homes, our relationships with co-workers, supervisors, leaders, direct-reports, kids, partners, siblings, parents, friends if we had the conversations needed instead of avoiding them? Even if it’s uncomfortable, especially when it is.

We have so much work to do – collectively and individually, as a planet and as humans.

Conversations are that work.

And conversations are work. They take practice and skill and intentionality. We can choose to apply such…or not. But let’s be honest: “not” really isn’t an option. Ever. Certainly not now.

Seth Godin’s words bear repeating – again and again: We’ll make things better by seeing, by speaking, by doing the work. Even if it’s uncomfortable, especially when it is.

May it be so.

Often, at the end of blog posts, we offer specific steps or to-do’s that will enable action. To do so, in this context, feels counter-intuitive, even wrong. Our “answers” are not the ones that matter. Stated even more clearly, “answers” aren’t the answer, either – no matter where they come from. Questions (and conversations) might be a far better choice…certainly more gracious, vulnerable, and transparent.

What are the questions we need to ask ourselves? What are the conversations we’re avoiding because we don’t want to hear others’ answers? And what are the relationships that are suffering, if not flailing, because we’re not willing to risk, to try, to speak, to do the work…to have the conversations that want and need to be had?

Even if it’s uncomfortable, especially when it is.

Tags: #Fierce News

The post Being Uncomfortable: The Choice to Make when the World is Hurting appeared first on Fierce.

Given the current situation with the coronavirus, we wanted to write to you, our loyal Fierce community, to offer clarity and most importantly, reassurance during this uncertain time. Because we are a Seattle-based company, we understand the concerns and fear that many have been feeling since this situation began.

Please be assured that, as a global company, we are closely monitoring the continuous developments related to the virus, including reports and travel advisories from the World Health Organization, the CDC, and other global public health authorities. Fierce’s top priority is the health and wellbeing of you, our employees, and our communities. We remain committed to being your partner every step of the way as we navigate this situation together.

We want you to know that you have the ability to try our virtual training options. We are able to host VIRTUAL INSTRUCTOR-LED WORKSHOPS or you can become certified to virtually train Fierce at your organization. We are currently working on some items behind the scene, so stay tuned for updates!

Rest assured that our virtual training options are optimized to provide your employees with the same high-touch, interactive and engaging experience as our in-person workshops. In uncertain times like these, knowing how to have skillful conversations could not be more critical.

If you have questions or concerns throughout this evolving situation, please reach out to your Fierce representative, or contact us at INFO@FIERCEINC.COM.

We remain optimistic about the future and believe we will get through this together, one conversation at a time.

How We’re Getting Through This Together

• Our Seattle office is closed.
• All Fierce employees have been working remotely since March 5 and will continue to do so until at least March 26th as we actively monitor the evolving situation.
• We have been taking advantage of the same technologies we use in our office to stay connected: Zoom, Adobe Connect, email, Microsoft Teams, etc.
• We are encouraging quick Zoom calls (with video) so keep-up engagement with one another. We want to keep having the conversations that matter and reduce working in isolation.
• We quickly scheduled a company-wide Zoom meeting where our CEO and founder expressed her appreciation, our president talked about next-steps and strategy, and each of our senior leaders discussed where things stand with their teams.
• Our Culture Committee (an amazing group of individuals who, in addition to their day-to-day roles are committed to strengthening our collective culture) has scheduled a number of creative 30-minute get-togethers that are happening yet this week and beyond. They are focused on how we continue to have fun together, see each other, and have the kind of informal, in-the-moment conversations that make all the difference.
• Most importantly, we are providing ongoing opportunities for team members to talk with leaders about what they need to be successful and how to best serve our clients in this space and time.

Tags: #COVID-19, #Fierce News

The post We’re in This Together: A Message on COVID-19 appeared first on Fierce.