There is a phenomenon taking place where groups and individuals are shrinking rather than expanding their points of view, unwilling to consider someone else’s perspective outside of their own social group—at work, in friendships, and within families. Political differences and polarization are threatening inclusion. And these rifts are happening in all methods of communication, from social media to intimate one-on-ones. People are walking on eggshells and don’t want to rock the boat, withholding their thoughts and feelings with coworkers and loved ones for fear of being negatively labeled or “outed” from the group.

The 2016 election spurred a degree of social upheaval and we are still seeing its effects in the workplace today. Although identity politics—positions based on the interest of social groups—have always been a potential point of discord, never in my career have I witnessed opposing viewpoints surfacing so directly and with such vehemence as they have during these last couple of years.

What we’re witnessing in the workplace is what’s been referred to by Faith Popcorn, author and CEO of Marketing Consulting firm BrainReserve, as “micro-clanning”—the forming of small groups with shared interests. While this isn’t a bad thing in itself, the problem arises when these groups become “exclusive” to others, resulting in silos, discrimination, and a flat unwillingness to listen openly to other perspectives. In the workplace, this makes essential, inclusive conversations nearly impossible. It corrodes culture, innovation, and team dynamics by enforcing an “us vs. them” rather than “we” mindset.

I recently watched a TedX video that illustrates these ideas perfectly. Friends Caitlin Quattromani and Lauran Arledge (a Certified Fierce facilitator) discuss how their friendship has had its struggles due to their opposing political views. They were able to recognize that their friendship was stronger than their perspectives by checking their assumptions, asking each other questions, and engaging in open conversation about each other’s perspectives. As a result, they came to understand that their views didn’t have to hinder the connection that brought them together in the first place.

At Fierce, we recognize that people are more similar than they are different—the differences we have exist on the surface, and beneath it, there’s so much similarity between what we share and desire for our relationships and our lives. While we may have different opinions about how to get there, more often than not, our vision or “end goal” is the same.

Included in our 2018 predictions, we anticipate that we may see an uptick in identity politics causing relational challenges at work this year. Here are some important takeaways that will help leaders navigate the social dynamics in the workplace and strengthen workplace culture:

1. Encourage curiosity. In our relationships and within our organizations, it’s important to instill a mindset of curiosity rather than defensiveness. Rather than sticking to tightly-held assumptions, ask questions and dig deeper to gain a better understanding:

• How do you feel about this?
• Why do you feel that way?
• What matters to you most in this situation?
• From your perspective, what is the ideal outcome?

While asking questions is important, the most critical component of curiosity is listening from a place of empathy. Set aside the desire to “win” the conversation. When another person is speaking, listen fully with the intent to understand. Understanding should be the goal of our conversations.

2. Interrogate reality. Leaders need to engage and “stay awake” to what is happening within their teams and organizations. There are always multiple competing realities, and leadership needs to seek to understand the various contexts and perspectives within their teams. We can’t afford to turn a blind eye. When relational issues arise due to opposing points of view, leadership will need to initiate conversation and address the issues directly with everyone involved.

3. Invite conflict. Although a place of conflict isn’t where we want to be in the end, sometimes we have to invite disagreement in order to strengthen relationships and come up with the best possible solutions. We need to be promoting and not restricting dialogue, and we achieve this by using dialogue to welcome perspectives. If there is disagreement, it means people are sharing their thoughts and feelings, which is exactly what we need in our organizations. However, we do want to prevent conflicts from escalating and resolve ruptures so that these conflicts can be advantageous rather than detrimental when they occur.

In order for issues to be resolved, they have to come to the surface first. While the process of resolving surfacing issues may not be easy or pleasant, it’s important that we recognize what’s taking place within our organizations and the role of identity politics so that we can address it head-on…one conversation at a time.

I want to go back to a quote included in another of our Accountability blogs: “Our careers, our companies, our personal relationships, our very lives, succeed or fail, gradually then suddenly, one conversation at a time.”

If you’ll notice, it says succeeds one conversation at a time. So just as we found that accountability can disappear when we are not having the conversations, we can create the opposite effect when we put skill and courage to work and have the conversations.

These strategies that I am about to share are about empowerment…they will help you invite the conversations that are necessary for accountability to thrive in your organization.

Strategy #1: Be More Self-Aware.

A few moments ago, we said effective leaders “track trends” and they are more aware of their surroundings, of the impact they are having on others. They stay awake during the gradually so they don’t find themselves facing an unintended suddenly—having a greater sense of self allows you to better monitor how accountable you are and the behavior you’re modeling for others. This awareness allows you to course correct as needed so you don’t find yourself, or your team, unintentionally hanging off a cliff.

So what can you do to become more self-aware?

Ask for feedback.

As you think about your current role, do you have curiosity around your own performance? Do you know where you stand with yourself, your leader, your direct reports, your colleagues in relation to your efforts? Sometimes, the key to building accountability on your team requires that we as leaders change our own behavior.

Reflect

According to Daniel Goleman, internationally-renowned psychologist, “Self-awareness is the key cornerstone to emotional intelligence—the ability to monitor our emotions and thoughts from moment to moment is key to understanding ourselves better and proactively managing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.” Self-aware people tend to act consciously rather than react passively, and they are more inclined to show up in an accountable way—modeling the behavior they want to see from their teams.

Strategy #2: Ditch the shortcuts.

As we determined earlier, accountability is a culture issue. There are no sustainable “short cuts” when trying to build an accountable culture. But that doesn’t prevent leaders from trying to find a faster way.

In Fierce Accountability, we talk about the difference between holding someone accountable and holding someone able. When you hold someone able, you choose to recognize the capacity of each person you are connecting with to achieve the goals you agreed upon. There is trust.

But still, it’s hard to watch your team day in and day out when they are strongly entrenched in a victim (or finger pointing) mentality. To combat this, leaders will often lean into a few popular strategies to quickly “entice” someone to choose accountability. While each of these strategies tends to be a successful short-term solution, they can create huge problems when we try to sustain them.

The first shortcut to avoid is fear:

Fear happens when a leader simply lays down the hammer, sending the message “you will or else.” Or else you will lose your bonus, or else you will be demoted, or fired. The short-term benefit to this strategy of fear is that it actually works! I don’t want to lose my job, or my money, so I will do everything it takes, and likely kill myself to get the job done.

The problems with using fear as a strategy are many. Pushback happens behind the leaders back because people are afraid to speak up when they don’t think something will work. This erodes trust. Likely, your employees will begin to resent you and that resentment will spread like wildfire. The end result? You lose emotional capital with your employees, which will erode performance and even drive your talent away.

The second short cut to ditch is advice:

I’m not saying never give advice. However, when a leader only ever imparts their own wisdom on an employee to help them “be more accountable,” we see less than ideal results follow. We often use advice because it’s a simple solution to give someone else the “right” approach or answer. Not to mention, we get to be the expert in this scenario.

It doesn’t strengthen the person to whom you are giving advice—they are not working to problem-solve for themselves or make decisions on their own. This creates dependency, and in the end, they just keep coming back for more advice. When leaders take over instead of allowing their teams to problem solve or make decisions on their own, they are removing the chance for true accountability to surface.

In addition, what worked for you may not work for them. I recently heard an interview with Jo Owen, award-winning leadership author, who said, “The rules for survival/success change…what worked for you in the past won’t always work in the future. The best leaders know this and remain flexible.” In addition, if your advice goes wrong, who will be to blame? Only you.

Strategy #3: Take responsibility for your emotional wake.

What I mean here is, are you taking responsibility for the impact you have on others? This goes hand-in-hand with our self-awareness strategy, and I think it is important enough on its own to give it some individual focus.

Most of us will do anything to avoid being wrong—and often we’ll do even more to prove we are right! But what if our need to be right is what is really wrong? While it may be uncomfortable to realize you are wrong or have made a mistake, the bigger question leaders should be asking is, “What is the cost when we are wrong and don’t acknowledge it or own up? What price do we and those around us pay?”

There is one very powerful way to take responsibility and own up to the “wake” we create when things go wrong.

While an apology cannot “fix” the problem, it is the first step. You can’t fix something you don’t acknowledge. Owning up and taking responsibility, while painfully difficult, is an accountable act. It encourages others to do the same.

Summing it Up

True accountability is not a task to check off the to-do list. It is a mindset. It is an ongoing conversation that we are having with ourselves and those around us through our words, our actions, and our follow through. The question is, how are you showing up?

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Today is the big day in the US: Midterm Elections. In light of this monumental event, we’re encouraging everyone we know to join a nationwide conversation and vote.

When you cast your ballot, you are choosing the people and policies that best represent you and your beliefs. More than ever in 2018, the level of enthusiasm, candidates, and measures continue to vary greatly. As a result, there is a higher chance of politics spilling over into the workplace today and well into the coming weeks ahead — if they haven’t already.

In our personal lives, we often surround ourselves with people that think the same way we do. At the office, we are exposed to a greater range of beliefs. While this can provide an opportunity to see another side of things, and have an added perspective, it can also lead to a higher chance to offend, or be offended.

This scenario of not seeing eye-to-eye is likely to pop up in all different scenes in your life – the office, school, church, grocery store, etc. The reality is, it is easy to point the finger. To disagree. To shut out. It is much harder to entertain an idea that competes with your own. To be curious. To be open.

Solid relationships and strong conversation skills will help ensure that discussions around politics remain civil and constructive.

Given that, I wanted to share an excerpt from Fierce’s Founder and CEO, Susan Scott in Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time:

What each of us believes to be true simply reflects our views about reality. When reality changes (and when doesn’t it?) and when we ignore competing realities, if we dig in our heels regarding a familiar or favored reality, we may fail. Perhaps what we thought was the truth is no longer the truth in today’s environment.

For example, most people believe that there are some people you just can’t talk to. That, as Satchmo said, “Some people, if they don’t know, you can’t tell them.” After we’ve experienced countless failed conversations over the years, such a belief is understandable.

I’ve observed, however, that it is also possible that the way we’ve been talking with people isn’t working. That our techniques for talking with “difficult” people haven’t worked, but other techniques can and do work, without rattling sabers or giving ultimatums. That is our beliefs about what we can say, as well as how and to whom we can say it, that are in the way, and that if we change our beliefs, productive conversations can easily occur.

And so, today, I’m challenging you to approach your conversations with good intention.

It is not enough to simply engage in a conversation. You need to have a plan and really drive for the desired outcomes that you seek — building a relationship, learning something new, or sharing a different perspective with a fellow team member.

No matter where your employees stand, these following tips can be useful in navigating these complicated topics:

• Ask yourself, what is my intent?

If you are considering approaching a political topic, be sure to question your intention and desired outcome. This can help put the conversation into perspective, and potentially avoid discussions that come from a less-than-genuine place. Do not start a conversation to gloat, to prod or to undercut under any circumstance.

• Watch your language.

As a rule, in any contentious conversation, instead of using “but” after validating someone’s opinion, use “and”. Example: “Yes I see your view, and I feel differently” instead of “Yes I see your view, but I feel differently.” Hear the difference? “And” is more inclusive.

• Take no for an answer.

While in almost all cases we encourage conversation, this is a bit different. Some people may be fine discussing political topics, while others have no interest. Respect your co-worker’s request to change the topic, and don’t bring it up again if they have made it clear they do not want to engage.

• Address behavior if necessary.

If there is someone specific who is causing tension, call out the behavior in a one‐to‐one setting. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, ask your manager. Then, explore how the situation could be handled differently in a way that reflects the company’s core values.

For all of these conversations, the key is to ensure your employees are well-versed in having productive discussions, and also comfortable simply stating that they aren’t interested in diving into certain topics, and moving on.

We must nurture our relationships, our expectations, our respect for each other more than ever. And we need to do so, one conversation at a time.

It starts with you. Approach each and every conversation with good intention.