I’ve had the pleasure of leading our global work — either through new market expansion, international partnerships, or through our domestic U.S. clients taking Fierce across the world —  for almost 18 months and to say it’s been a learning year in 2019 would be an understatement.

Both internal to Fierce and external with our clients and partners, the learnings that have occurred for me this year center around a critical human desire for trust. And I would take it one step further and say not just trust, but trust that is built on transparency. 

This year, I led a team into an unknown place for our business: to take what is existing and build on it, quickly. 

My team trusted me a lot on this adventure. Our clients and partners are trusting us, and there were many times when on this journey, the trust was shaken. Not because of some devious desire to withhold, but because there is an art AND skill around being transparent. 

According to Tolero Solutions, 45% OF EMPLOYEES say a lack of trust in leadership is the biggest issue impacting their work performance.

That’s huge.

Just like most leadership components, we talk about them as if they are some innate talent you possess at birth. This is WRONG. Learning to be transparent is a skill! 

To be clear, I’m not talking about learning how to be honest or not to lie. That is different and a component of being able to be transparent (and also a very low bar to being a good leader).

What I am talking about is the ability to share information — often complex information — at a rapid pace and that often requires you to be ahead of events unfolding, and to share what is going on in a strong and simple narrative. When you do this, you build and sustain trust.

So, how do you to do this? Here are my three biggest key learnings:

1. Transparent emotions.

It might seem like adulting 101 to say you should be able to articulate what you feel about a given situation easily but shocker — it’s not! We are emotional beings and if you don’t include your own emotions in your narrative as you work with your team, clients, and partners you are doing this wrong.

At Fierce, we define a fierce conversation as one in which you come out from behind yourself, into the conversation, and make it real.

Susan Scott, Fierce Founder, and CEO discussed trust and radical transparency in a podcast interview with TalentGrow. She explained that “trust is built one conversation at a time, and it’s also lost one conversation at a time. Trust requires persistent identity, [which] means me showing up as myself completely, consistently, all the time, every day so that I’m not different depending on who I’m with.”

That “make it real part” includes emotion. The skill is being able to speak to the emotion in a way that specific, relatable and appropriate.

2. Transparency in decision-making.

I have a secret to share to the world: I don’t know everything. I am a leader and I don’t have all the answers…shocking! I had to break this news to my team and our clients/partners this year several times.

Articulating this poorly can actually lose trust — a leaders worst nightmare is that they are seen by their team and clients as inept.

Here’s the thing…I’m not talking about incompetence. I’m talking about being vulnerable enough, and honestly strategic enough, to be able to share what specifically the help you need from others is, because it’s humanly impossible to see all the different points of view that exist. 

This is the heart of our team model, wherein we explore how to make decisions by giving others the right information needed and asking the right questions to get the help you need.

You might hit initial resistance, because, isn’t that your job as the leader to come up with these answers? (No, it isn’t.)

That’s why this can’t be a one time event. Leaders must show up like this in decision-making situations consistently and then, over time, people will respond and trust will be built.

3. Transparent intentions.

Lastly, make your intentions known. Within your team are your values, goals, and mission for what is trying to be accomplished clear and defined.

Did your team contribute to the values, goals, and mission? Muddiness breeds our human instinct to tell ourselves a story and often that story is not positive.

Worse than muddiness is not actually seeking the input of your team members and clients/partners to help inform it. Creating a compelling narrative is the job of a leader but coming up with all the ideas yourself is silly…and I did that this year.

I did the thing you’re not supposed to do. I created a vision, goals and a mission for our expansion work and I never asked anyone for their input.

Not surprisingly, by July, I was dealing with a crisis in confidence by my team and some clients and partners. To shift the trajectory I rewrote the story quickly and asked those critical to its success what THEY think our values, goals, and mission should be.

While I’ll have to fill you in on how we execute against those in a future post, I can share that immediately the morale and trust improved.

In the end, remember that being transparent with intentions holds us accountable for making our intentions positive.

An article from Psychology Today titled “POSITIVE INTENTIONS BUILD WORKPLACE TRUST” affirms this idea: “Intention drives behavior. The intention behind our actions impacts our trust building ability. Positive intentions build trust; negative intentions don’t.”

When new managers step into their role, there is so much to do, so much to make happen, and so much to learn. On top of all this, they now have people depending on them for their development and growth!

How are these first-time managers going to make all this happen? How are they to remain focused on their own priorities, responsibilities, and to-do’s while simultaneously building the capacity of their team?

Enter delegation.

Perhaps not the sexiest of solves, but by far, the one that will merit them (and those who work with/for them) the best results.

Consider the data: a recent study by Gallup revealed that businesses with leaders who were “high in delegator talent” grew 112 percent faster than those without. If you want to be successful as a manager, learning how to effectively delegate is going to be an essential part of long-term success for you and your team.

John C. Maxwell, prolific leadership author, says, “If you want to do a few small things right, do them yourself. If you want to do great things and make a big impact, learn to delegate.”

He’s absolutely right.

But, here’s where it gets a bit messy: few leaders, let alone new ones, are clear on what delegation actually means, what it looks like, and how to make it happen.

A common misunderstanding among leaders — both new and those who have been managing for decades — is that delegation is about giving away the tasks we don’t want to do.

At Fierce, we call this dele-dumping.

Sure, it’s articulated far differently depending on your place of work. But, the most common one we hear is, “This will be a great development opportunity for you!”

Here’s the thing though… people are not deceived. Direct reports are smart! They are aware that their manager is offloading tasks that are definitely not their favorites.

So yes, the manager or leader has technically “delegated,” but they’ve accomplished little-to-nothing related to improving engagement, bettering relationships, and building emotional capital — which is one of the most important aspects of their job.

So, let’s clear up this misunderstanding by really understanding what delegation is all about: development, development, development. 

Below are three best practices to help train new managers and leaders on how to have successful delegation conversations:

1. Manage to-do lists.

Anthea Turner, British media personality, said, “The first rule of management is delegation. Don’t try and do everything yourself because you can’t.”

She’s right.

But, it’s far easier said than done — especially for new managers. These new leaders are deeply committed to proving their worth, to making sure that their hire or promotion meets and exceeds all expectations.

One of the predominant ways this shows up, to their detriment, is that they are unwilling to let things go — to delegate — to loosen the reins. The risk just feels too great!

As their learning leader, help them out! Sit down with a new manager or leader and ask them to pull out their to-do list. Chances are high they’ve got some things on there that they admittedly love doing, and other things that they’ve determined no one else knows how to do (at least as well as they do).

The next step, no matter how hard this might be, is asking them whether or not this particular item is central to achieving their goals and supporting their team. If their answer is “no,” then it’s no longer the best use of their time.

Yep — no matter how much they love it or how good they are at it.

Now, look at their to-do list with them again. To whom can they delegate some of these things?

If they need a bit more incentive to give up a task they love or believe no one else can do better than themselves, help them do the math.

How much time will they free up if they let someone else take ownership of this particular responsibility? What else can they do with that time? And what would the benefits be if they could devote energy to other priorities?

Remind them of this: Imagine how much more productive (and fulfilled) you will be when you can focus that much time on things that are the best use of you AND meet your goals!

Once you’ve done the above exercise, encourage new managers to schedule intentional conversations with their direct reports. Invite them to set aside time to let their people know that they want to delegate some new responsibilities.

New managers can then ask: “Are you interested in growing in this area?” The goal is to be curious, to ask even more questions, to get a sense of how the direct report want to develop in their role.

When new leaders are reminded (and learn) to really ask and really listen, they’ll begin to see and understand which of their current responsibilities could be better served by delegating them for another’s development. A gift to them — and to others!

2. Create a common language.

When we teach delegation in the Fierce classroom, we use the analogy of a tree to represent four levels of delegation and decision-making authority: leaf, branch, trunk, and root.

At leaf level, there is full autonomy to make decisions and act on them. That autonomy decreases with each level — but not in a pejorative way. Instead, at root level, for example, the manager delegates a responsibility that still needs her/his input and final decision-making expertise.

At trunk, the direct report makes the decision and the implementation plan but checks in with their manager before taking any next steps. And at branch, the direct report makes the decision, implements the plan, and only keeps the manager in the loop.

These levels provide a common language so that there is a mutual understanding of the decision-making process on any given project or responsibility.

Even more, it mitigates what new leaders too often default to as an excuse for not delegating: the delegatee is not quite ready yet.

What if, instead of not delegating at all, a direct report was given the ability to start delegating to others at trunk-level. This would provide the person the autonomy to do the work in a bound amount of time and with the assurance of the manager’s ongoing expertise until they are ready for more.

Above and beyond mitigating risk, shared language maximizes reward. When people are delegated to effectively — and at levels that are unique to them as individuals — they feel seen and heard, engagement and productivity increase, retention goes up, relationships thrive, and the new manager grows and develops in powerful and relevant ways alongside their direct reports.

If you wandered through our office space at Fierce HQ, you’d overhear conversations that take full advantage of this shared language: “Hey, Ronna! Can you take this on at leaf-level?” Or, “Mike, given that this is within your area of passion, I’d love for you to facilitate this project at branch-level.” Or, “Rose, I know this has been given to me at trunk-level and I really feel like I’m ready to have it at branch. Can we talk about that together?”

Because we understand each other and the level of decision-making authority/autonomy being given, we are able to work together in better and more productive ways.

We have successful, productive conversations because we have a vocabulary that everyone knows and speaks. Even more, it provides new leaders with a framework that teaches them how to delegate and develop their people. Truly, it makes all the difference!

3. Help teams partner up.

As a new leader, it can be tempting to want to be the go-to person for everything. It’s a lofty ideal, but completely unsustainable.

One more relevant quote? “As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.” Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft.

Let’s take his thinking one step further and develop those new leaders even more.

Help new managers understand ways in which their team members can empower each other! Have them create accountability partnerships, triads, or groups that are designed to keep each other on-track with time-management and deadlines.

They can help their people create check-ins with one another and share their progress. At the end of the day, everyone is encouraged, everyone develops, everyone grows. Including that new manager!

Now, let’s return to where we started. Is delegation the sexiest management technique ever?  Nope. But it IS one that goes far deeper than often understood or practiced. We don’t want our new leaders to be deceived by its seeming-simplicity.

Delegation requires intentionality, skill, and persistence. By teaching new managers to use these three best practices, it will free up their time, maximizes their results, and develops their people. That’s being a Fierce leader, to be sure!

Let’s have some real talk for a moment: Have you ever told someone —your boss, a colleague, customers, or your spouse — what you thought they wanted to hear rather than what you were really thinking? Did you paint a false, rosy version of reality and gloss over the problems or pretend that it didn’t exist?

If you’ve found yourself being less than honest, know that you aren’t alone by a long shot.

The thing is, we have legitimate reasons for why we don’t want to fully disclose. Maybe last time you told your honest truth, it destroyed a relationship in your past, and you don’t want to do that again. Perhaps you have seen someone lose their job over disclosing more, and you happen to like your job. Maybe you truly don’t believe it is your place to say what you notice or feel (this is a popular one).

The kicker is that not sharing the whole truth is more costly in the end.

If you are out of integrity with yourself or others, research shows that it damages your health and wellbeing. Whether you’re not sharing your truth at work or at home, not being your authentic self can lead to loss of time, money, and/or complete failure to thrive.

That’s not a pretty picture. But you can empower yourself to become a fierce leader — a leader who comes out from behind what is holding them back and shows up every day as their authentic, true self.

TRANSFORM YOURSELF

Fierce leaders want to know the truth and in turn, also have to share the truth. Whether or not your role has the “leader” title assigned to it, you can be someone on the forefront innovating and promoting authenticity.

Organizations that encourage everyone, from individual contributors, managers, all the way up to the CEO, to take on a leadership mindset create cultures that don’t settle for a culture of fear.

Few companies are really in this place. Many choose to abide by an old rank and file hierarchy that squashes creativity, promote false security, and inevitably disengaging employees.

So what can you do if you work inside a culture where new ideas and honesty are not welcomed? Do you have to accept it for what it is and keep your creativity to yourself?

No, you absolutely do not.

The beauty of culture is that it is made up of the people who inhabit it. Meaning, everyone impacts how things operate, not just those at the top.

Here are three tips to propose new ideas and begin creating a culture that supports authenticity:

Tip #1: Lead by Example

This isn’t a blog that encourages you to throw caution to the wind and break the rules of your company and go spouting off every thought you have to your boss. However, I bet your organization has unwritten cultural norms that keep people from fully coming forward and innovating.

These issues can range from not bringing up a perspective in a meeting because you don’t want to rock the boat, to continuing a process that is outdated only because it is the way things have always been done.

Take this opportunity to start small and be the change you want to see. If you own a responsibility and you have an idea of a better way of doing it – do it. Try it out and create some metrics for yourself to see if it really does improve results. Keep track of those metrics and after a month, show it to your supervisor, pointing out how your new idea has worked.

Tip #2: Use Your Voice

A leadership mindset is not for the faint-hearted. It takes courage to put yourself out there and be the one who speaks to an issue honestly. The reward is that you directly impact how things happen and become a more active participant within your company.

If you’re in a meeting, use your voice. If someone has a different opinion than you about a topic, don’t sit there and internally stew about it. Voice your concerns and throw your own idea in the ring. If you’re not invited into the decision-making process and you have a strong opinion, even if it goes against everything your culture stands for, set up a time to speak with leaders and express your concern.

Make it clear that you understand it’s ultimately their decision, and you hoped to just share your perspective.  This can be very scary and not easy to do. However, it shows others within your organization that you have great ideas and that you care.

Tip #3: Keep Going

Let’s say you do tips one and two and have success, and you’re feeling pretty good about your job. So what’s next? Keep Going.

Let’s say you follow through with tips one and two, and it didn’t work out as well as you had hoped. You are probably slightly discouraged. What’s next? Keep Going.

The reality is being a leader isn’t a title, it’s a mentality. Innovating, being authentic and thinking outside the box are traits of productive individuals, and they take practice.

Realize that your job satisfaction rests mostly in your own power and that you can impact the day-to-day outcomes of your job. Even within a culture that doesn’t foster creativity and doesn’t empower honesty, there is room for you to be creative and lead the way to show those around you that they can go against the status quo and see positive results for the organization and for themselves.

As a leader, you’ve ideally built a relationship with each of your team members. You’ve likely swapped stories about your families, collaborated on successful work projects, and built the emotional capital necessary to have a successful team.

However, being a leader means that sometimes you are confronted with the challenge of how to best handle delicate situations, such as addressing a performance issue among your team.

Even great teams, for one reason or another, don’t perform to the expected standard. You may try to avoid the situation and hope it goes away on its own. The reality, though, is that the problem does exist, and the longer it goes on without being talked about, the worse it will get.

On a company level, the performance of each individual team impacts the organization’s overall production and revenue goals. As a leader, you are accountable for your team’s performance, and it’s critical to take direct action to prevent even bigger problems down the road.

Below are 4 actionable steps to help your team move past their performance issue and achieve success.

Step #1: Make sure the right people are in the room.

Depending on the issue at hand, you’ll need to determine who is accountable for the outcome and make sure the right people have been invited to the table.

Don’t, for example, host a team meeting if your issue is about one individual team member. Most importantly, you don’t want to put this person on the spot in front of others, and likewise, you shouldn’t use team meetings to make sweeping statements about the team if it is actually an individual issue. Honor your team’s time by addressing issues that are relevant to the team as a whole and save individual conversations for later.

Step #2: Present the issue to your team.

When you gather your team together and acknowledge openly that there is an issue, it’s like flipping on a light switch in a dark room. By providing feedback and creating awareness, you’re letting your team in on important information that they need to know in order to make improvements and course correct.

It’s equally important as a leader to avoid making assumptions about the root cause of the issue or jumping to conclusions about what should be done in order to resolve it. Instead, keep it high level—for example, inform them that the team is not meeting their monthly quota, or bring up the fact that a deadline was missed on an important team project.

Step #3: Open up the dialogue.

After you call out the issue, allow each employee’s perspectives to be heard.Your goal is to facilitate this conversation by listening and helping your team solve the current challenges.

In the FIERCE TEAM PROGRAM, we teach how to conduct a Beach Ball meeting. We call it a Beach Ball meeting because we view each employee on a team as a stripe of color, where each stripe represents a different perspective.

This type of meeting allows you, the leader, to create a setting where you come to the table with your team and address an issue collaboratively. This is a great way to tackle a subject like team performance, because it removes the punitive feeling that is associated with this topic and encourages the team to come to a solution together.

Enter this conversation with curiosity, and make sure all perspectives are heard. Be open to discovering completely new and valuable information, including new awareness about other issues that you didn’t even know existed. Don’t immediately dismiss an excuse or complaint—it likely contains a nugget of truth that can help better inform a solution.

To move things in a positive direction and keep the conversation on track, ask:

Given everything we’ve discussed, what can we do to achieve our team’s goals? What will help us move forward?

Step #4: Create an action plan.

The final step is to create an action plan. Ask your team:

Knowing what you know now, what is everyone committing to do over the next week, month, and year?

Get specific! Assign responsibilities and schedule a time for everyone to reconnect on progress.

If one meeting isn’t enough to tackle the issue and you don’t have time to get to this critical step, schedule the next meeting right then so it doesn’t get placed on the back burner. It’s also possible that some of your team members might have individual issues that don’t apply to the team as a whole. Address their concerns by setting up a time to meet with them one-on-one and create specific next steps for them.

Addressing an issue like performance is a hard, yet necessary, component of leadership. In the end, addressing an issue in an open and honest manner strengthens the relationship and sets your team, as well as your company, up for the greatest amount of success.

As someone with more than 20 years’ experience teaching leaders how to have effective conversations, I strongly believe that feedback is extremely important to individual and organizational success…and absolutely NOT a fallacy.

In a recent Harvard Business Review article, The Feedback Fallacy, Marcus Buckingham and his co-author, Ashley Goodall, take feedback to task. They argue that the act of feedback is “about telling people what we think of their performance and how they should do it better…and on that, the research is clear: Telling people what we think of their performance doesn’t help them thrive and excel and telling people how we think they should improve actually hinders learning.”

This definition, from a training perspective, puts me in an unfortunate bind.

For the most part, their points are solid:

• NOT EFFECTIVE: identifying failure and giving people feedback about how to avoid it.
• EFFECTIVE: praise that interrupts and pulls a colleague’s attention toward something that really worked.
• NOT EFFECTIVE: when someone whose intentions are unclear tells us where to stand, how good we “really” are, and what we must do to fix ourselves.
• EFFECTIVE: when people who know and care about us tell us what they experience and what they feel, and in particular when they see something within us that really works.

One gets the feeling when reading these things, that all we experience is what’s NOT effective — that because we’re rarely-if-ever experience what is effective, that it’s all a fallacy.

This is where I take issue with Buckingham’s argument.

It’s a difficult pill to swallow — disagreeing with Marcus Buckingham, a person who I admire. But alas, as someone who lives in the Learning and Development world and has seen it’s magic when successful, I must.

I must disagree because I truly believe “The Feedback Fallacy” completely misses the point of what successful, healthy feedback truly is — which, in itself is what Buckingham actually alludes to in his article, whether he knows it or not.

Because we haven’t learned how to give, receive, and ask for feedback effectively it APPEARS to be a fallacy.

Enter Fierce Feedback.

IN DEFENSE OF EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK

At Fierce we believe that what we talk about, how we talk about it, and most importantly, the degree of authenticity we bring to the conversations we are having makes all the difference. This, by necessity, includes Fierce Feedback – one of the most highly requested programs we offer.

In the past year alone, I have trained Fierce in numerous companies with countless participants discussing feedback’s importance, its value, and its how-to. Again and again, I hear nearly the same thing: “there’s a measurable and painful gap between what we know we should be saying and what we’re actually saying (or not saying)!” There has never been a time in which I’ve heard anyone say that feedback is a “fallacy.”

The clients we work with – and their leaders – know it’s needed, critical even. They know its absence is costly. And they know they’ve got to get better at it.

They’re hardly alone.

All of us know how we should be engaging with others – whether in our organization as a whole, our workgroups, and teams and especially in our personal relationships.

We know that when we’re providing constructive feedback, even recognition, and praise, it needs to be specific. And, to Buckingham’s point, we can acknowledge that we only give feedback from our own limited perspective.

We also know, even if we sometimes forget, that we MUST allow the other person to share their perspective so that feedback doesn’t become a one-way diatribe. It’s a conversation after all!

WHAT PEOPLE REALLY THINK OF FEEDBACK

The knowing isn’t the problem. It’s the doing (or lack thereof) that is. Here’s a sample of what I continue to hear:

• “I know feedback would help my colleague move closer to her goals; that it would serve and support her along the way. But I don’t want to say anything that might upset her or be taken the wrong way.”
• “I know people need and deserve more praise, but I don’t want them to get used to it. Shouldn’t they just know that if they don’t hear anything, everything’s OK?”
• “I want to give feedback, but I’m afraid the other person can’t handle it; worse, they’ll think I’m mean. And besides, it’s their job! Shouldn’t they just know what they’re supposed to be doing and how? Why do I have to tell them?”
• “Yes, I could mitigate a potential disaster by stepping into a conversation with a colleague or direct report, but I don’t want to come off as a know-it-all or seen as too demanding. Besides, I’m busy. They’ll figure it out eventually.”

Bringing this back to my disagreement with Buckingham and Goodall, the issue is not that feedback is a fallacy. It’s that very few organizations have the practical, relevant, and applicable tools in place that enable people to give and receive feedback effectively.

No wonder it’s viewed so negatively! We are not equipped with the necessary skills to do (and say) what we know matters most.

Which, come to think of it, is exactly what the authors are saying – just from a different slant:

“There’s nothing more believable and more authoritative than sharing what you saw…and how it made you feel. Use phrases such as ‘This is how that came across for me,’ or ‘This is what that made me think,’ or even just ‘Did you see what you did there?’ Those are your reactions — they are your truth…as seen through your eyes.”

Exactly! This IS what Fierce Feedback teaches.

“The emphasis here should not be on why – ‘Why didn’t that work?’ ‘Why do you think you should do that?’ …Instead, focus on what – ‘What do you actually want to have happened?’ ‘What are a couple of actions you could take right now?’”

Yes. Yes. Yes! This is, again, exactly what Fierce Feedback offers and teaches; it’s why we so strongly believe in all forms of feedback.

It’s all about having “people who know us and care about us tell us what they experience and what they feel…”

Perfect! (Have you been hanging out, incognito, in the back of my classes?)

WHY FEEDBACK IS IMPORTANT

A leader in one of our client-organizations told me a story that makes all of this that much more poignant and powerful: She had been working at the same company for 10 years when she received a significant promotion to a high-profile project. The stakes were significant and success was non-negotiable.

During that first year, she felt a great deal of anxiety and stress, not to mention frustration. She rarely received any feedback at all from her new manager and little clarity on expectations.

When the day came for her first annual review in the new position, she began organizing the files in her office and collecting her personal effects because she was sure she was about to be let go, at the very least, demoted. She even called her husband, who happened to work across the street, and asked him to be on the ready, since she was certain she’d need a shoulder to cry on.

Imagine her surprise when she met with her manager and received nothing but glowing recommendations and “exceeds expectations” across the board!

Six months later she left the company.

Giving feedback, “sharing our truth,” naming what we see and how it makes us feel, even (and maybe especially) where praise and recognition are concerned, makes all the difference. Had she received it all along, she may not have left at all.

Yes, too many organizations get it wrong – including the extremes of Bridgewater Associates and Netflix, as Buckingham suggests in his article — which is why we at Fierce remain committed to feedback itself and Fierce Feedback, specifically.

The limitless business and relational results that feedback drives when done well – with skill, grace, humility, and courage — are wonderful to witness and certainly make the case that no one should ever give up on feedback.

Were Marcus Buckingham given the opportunity to reframe his argument with an understanding of Fierce Feedback, I’ve no doubt he would agree that it’s no fallacy at all; rather, more needed than ever!

Interested in finding out more about how you can become more effective at feedback? In this blog, we share the three ways anyone can unlock the true value of feedback.

Giving quality feedback can cause intense anxiety and receiving feedback gracefully is one of the hardest things to do. We want to be liked, after all. We want to appear as though we are competent in everything we do.

If the mere thought of giving or receiving feedback makes you want to run for the hills and hide, you aren’t alone — more than 50 percent of employees say they don’t regularly speak their minds at work, according to our recent Fierce research.

However, when we let those fears win and allow us to put feedback on the back burner, an environment that perpetuates resentment, inactivity and disengagement is created. Don’t believe me? Look at these statistics on feedback failure:

A staggering 69 percent of employees say they would work harder if they felt their efforts were being better recognized, according to OfficeVibe, while 98 percent of employees say they fail to be engaged when managers give little or no feedback. Furthermore, 4 out of 10 workers say they are actively disengaged when they get little or no feedback.

Creating a feedback culture where candor is the expectation and trust is strong enriches relationships and overwhelmingly can transform your business for the better.

The good news is you don’t have to be afraid of feedback, and in fact, you can actually learn to love it. Yes, I said love it — as in enjoying, looking forward to and even loving the thought of receiving or giving feedback on a regular basis.

Below are 3 ways for you to start mastering quality feedback and begin creating a high performing culture:

1. ASK FOR IT

A solid first step to falling in love with feedback is to start practicing it — regularly. Empower yourself to consistently seek feedback by simply ASKING for it.

This may seem overly elementary, because, well of course, just ask for it. But let’s be real for a second: how often do you really ask for feedback? Rather, do you tend to find yourself sitting back and waiting for it to come to you?

We can say to ourselves, “if someone is bothered by something I’m doing or if I’m not doing something well, they’ll tell me,” thus, a lack of feedback must mean I’m doing great!

However, by engaging in this behavior, we miss valuable conversations with valuable insight, and we end up coasting (blindly). This can lead to all kinds of problems such as missed learning opportunities, miscommunication with our coworkers and managers, and unexpected confrontation down the line to name a few.

What someone chooses to courageously share with you, or more importantly, how you ask for it or IF you ask for it, determines, to an extent, what will or won’t happen for you.

The decision you make about whether to invite that feedback into your consideration is going to have an impact, big or small, on determining your course or your path.

By proactively asking for feedback, you will uncover how your behavior, style, or decisions are really being interpreted.

2. BE PREPARED TO LISTEN & LEARN

Why is receiving feedback one of the harder things to do?

I think it’s because it requires you to be vulnerable. To stay open to where you aren’t doing things well can feel like you’re standing on the cliff of failure, and a manager’s or coworker’s words may just push you off. It feels risky.

We take feedback personally because it is personal. We’ve seen time and time again in our own Fierce research that when people are given feedback that was not expected or may even be embarrassing for them, egos can prevent us from hearing the feedback or doing something with it in order to make changes.

Keep in mind receiving feedback doesn’t mean you have to believe every bit of the feedback you receive. Instead, receiving feedback means you enter the conversation and explore the feedback TOGETHER.

So, listen to the specifics in the feedback. What is the person giving you feedback trying to convey? Let them finish their thoughts and make sure not to get defensive — remember, you were the one who asked for the feedback in the first place.

An element of truly listening is asking questions and paraphrasing for clarification. Explore the assessment giver’s perceptions without balking. Ask for clarification yourself, if need be, in order to more fully understand.

3. EMPHASIZE YOUR WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE

As mentioned above, don’t defend yourself. If you truly want feedback, it’s important to accept what others tell you as their perception — their reality of you and the situation. Again remember, you don’t have to do anything with the evaluation.

But, if you ask for feedback and do nothing, it’s often worse than had you not asked for it at all. In a way, you’re sending the message that it’s all smoke and mirrors. You’re going to ask for feedback in order to look good, and so you appear to be the kind of person who’s willing to change and improve yourself, BUT you’re not actually going to do any of the work.

You can decide to change only some things — you don’t have to change everything that is mentioned in the feedback you received. You also don’t have to tell the person immediately what you plan to do, but you SHOULD let them know when you have decided.

Don’t let too much moss grow under your feet on this one. If you do know what you are willing to do based on their feedback, communicate what that is to them. Emphasize your willingness to change and outline how you will do that.

If you believe it will take time, let them know you will be working on it over a certain period. Summarize what you’ve heard and tell them when you will have a decision made.