Fierce Conversations has been named one of IndustryWired’s Top Revolutionary Digital Transformation Companies of 2021!

How we communicate is key to building and enriching relationships, as well as succeeding in the fast-paced world of business. Ed Beltran, CEO of Fierce Conversations, shares how our innovative work impacts the industry in an exclusive conversation with IndustryWired.

Read the feature on IndustryWired

 

 

We all get that too much stress can have a negative impact on the quality of our daily lives, but how is it possible to strike a balance between work and life when everyday is Blursday?

At Fierce Conversations, the positive steps we take toward better work-life balance start with conversations and communication to diminish anxiety levels and enrich relationships. Discover simple hacks that can turn pressure into motivation and free up precious time in your day.

In this Forbes article, Fierce CEO Ed Beltran discusses the importance of taming stress and striking a healthy balance in work and in life.

Read: How To Offset Stress And Achieve Work-Life Balance

 

 

Work-related stress can have a number of causes, including fear-based cultures that leave employees anxious about their performance, ineffective or insufficiently trained leadership, unmanageable workloads, and unaddressed relational issues between colleagues.

Moreover, stress directly affects work quality and productivity: 53% of Americans say stress dampens their productivity in the workplace (MHS), and workers experiencing high levels of stress may be more liable to commit errors in their work (RoSPA).

So how can you improve your workplace culture, reduce stress, and boost productivity all at the same time? Start with these six steps:

1. Make room for white space.

Creating white space is about more than taking an occasional break — it’s about committing to taking intentional pauses before and after meetings or between tasks for thoughtful reflection. Make white space a part of your organization’s culture. Communicate its value and encourage employees to make it part of their work day.

White space is so important in our daily life that Juliet Funt — one of our past speakers at the Fierce Summit — created Whitespace at Work. Her firm provides solutions for organizations wanting to avoid burnout and maximize the amount of unscheduled time employees have to simply think and strategize. To quote Funt, “When a company adds WhiteSpace to its culture, every single employee benefits. You can almost hear an audible sigh of relief as a path is cleared for strategic thinking and focus.”

2. Deliver what employees really want.

Avoid making assumptions about what employees want. While happy hours and an office pool table may be great additions, these types of perks only scratch the surface of what are much less superficial needs. Surveys reveal that today’s workforce craves a sense of purpose and meaning, development opportunities, and work-life balance.

If you want your workplace culture to be successful, building emotional capital and trust across your organization is essential. Ask questions to gain understanding, have coaching conversations, and listen intently. Support the need for personal and professional growth by providing learning opportunities.

3. Assess workloads and employee capacity.

Approximately 46% of employee stress is caused by excessive workloads. This is a pervasive problem in many organizations, and one that needs to be addressed. Excessive workloads can cause issues at all levels of an organization, burdening leadership, teams, and individuals.

This step probably doesn’t sit well with organizations that are trying to accomplish a lot with very few resources . While maximizing employee capacity can be beneficial, especially in times of transition, overburdening employees with massive workloads isn’t worth saving a dollar when stress takes over your culture. If bringing on an extra hire or perhaps a freelancer can help alleviate some of the burdens, strongly consider making this investment.

4. Allow mental health days.

52% of workers say their company does not do enough to promote employee health, including mental health. Whether you call them “mental health days” or simply allow them to be a part of existing sick days, it’s essential to honor the need for recovery and downtime. If an employee feels exhausted after completing an extensive project, it will be better for productivity overall if they’re able to take some time to regenerate…and return to work bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

In a healthy culture, there is no shame in employees recognizing when they need a break and asking for one. The alternative is dire — stressed-out team members who don’t feel comfortable asking for what they need, resulting in subpar performance, and ultimately leaving your organization.

5. Make it about the journey, not the destination.

We’re all on a journey, both individually and collectively, and strong leaders will support their teams as needed. Offer avenues for growth as part of this journey rather than placing all of the focus on outcomes.

In a Deloitte survey, 82% of respondents said making a workplace error causes stress. This creates a vicious cycle — errors cause stress, and then stress leads to more error. If employees anticipate some form of punishment or feel they have no wiggle room to experiment or make mistakes, culture will suffer, innovation and creativity will suffer, and stress levels will rise. As a leader, you have to be willing to allow employees, and yourself, to fail. Failure is part of taking risks, and it’s an important part of how we learn and grow.

6. Make conversation training a priority.

Work-related stress is a major factor in whether people like their jobs or not. A survey from About.com found that among the top three reasons why people do not like their jobs, 62% of responses were communication-related. Communication frustration leads to an unsatisfied workforce.

When problems remain unaddressed, they show up in our lives as stress. If leaders don’t know how to have authentic and effective conversations to address issues, this weighs on individuals, teams, and cultures.

One way to ensure that leadership has the know-how to have the conversations that matter is to implement organization-wide conversations training. Conversation that’s competent, skillful, and effective is a powerful resource in business, and it’s critical for solving your toughest challenges.

For the sake of culture, health, and productivity, take the necessary steps to reduce stress in your organization and get rid of fear-based practices now — before larger issues arise that are harder or even impossible to repair. Doing so will lead to positive results in relationships, revenue, and overall employee satisfaction.

If your organization has yet to roll out a conversations training program, you can still get a head start on the conversations you need to start having today.

Learn more in our infographic: 7 Self-Care Ideas for the Workplace

 

 

The topic of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DE&I) is top of mind everywhere – rightfully and necessarily so. Yet, we continue to blatantly struggle to make progress or experience any measurable, impactful change.

We see the impact of Black Lives Matter and, simultaneously, watch police shootings continue. We talk of wage gaps, even show statistics of improvement, yet they still exist. We pass legislation that protects and supports same-sex couples but know that bias and discrimination remain rife. Why?

Though there are many reasons, one of them – quite simply – is this: we avoid conversations that make us uncomfortable. We’re afraid we’ll mess up, that we’ll say the wrong thing, that our lack of awareness or understanding will show up, or even worse, that our privilege or apathy (or both) might be revealed.

So, instead of diving in and making a mistake, we too often step back and stay silent. Many of us ask ourselves how we’ve become unwitting witnesses to a world that seems to decline and devolve.

Most of us want to do better, want to affect change, and want to courageously speak up and speak out. Most of us want to be people who know, as well, when to sit down and be quiet so that others have space and voice. Most of us want to live in a world – and work in organizations – that is inclusive, respectful, and profoundly diverse.

How to Have Real Diversity and Inclusion Conversations

So, what are we to do…those of us who desperately long for change?

Simple, but hardly easy, we must have the conversations we’ve been avoiding – the ones we are afraid of. We allow and acknowledge our discomfort. And we persist anyway.

In her book, So You Want To Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo says, “These conversations will never become easy, but they will become easier. They will never be painless, but they can lessen future pain. They will never be risk-free, but they will always be worth it.”

At Fierce, we would not call ourselves DE&I experts. But we are conversation experts. We know the cost of failed conversations, of missing ones.

We know about the elephants in the room: the things that everyone knows, but no one will talk about (DE&I being one of the biggest elephants ever). We know about the reality of gradually-then-suddenly – the way that seemingly small things have a way of building and accumulating, often unnoticed, until the scale tips and everything falls apart.

We know that every one of our relationship issues are, at the end of the day, conversational issues – or the lack thereof. Relationships can be defined and diagnosed by the conversations that take place – or don’t. And we know that without practical, applicable conversation skills, little-to-nothing ever changes.

We also know that conversations do not need to be perfect to be effective. They just need to be had – with courage, curiosity, grace, and some modicum of skill.

Though we fear conversations going badly, it’s the ones we avoid completely that cause the greatest harm, loss, and pain. Which, of course, is what we’re living in the midst of today: centuries of avoided conversations, missing ones.

Why Authentic Diversity and Inclusion Communication Matters

Leaning into our deep and abiding relief in the power of single conversations, we allow that they may never be easy, but that solutions, at least in part, can be simple – starting with each of us, even now, especially now.

We must be willing to talk, even more, to listen. We must be willing to try, even more, to fail. We must be willing to do more than watch from the sidelines feeling helpless and incapable. Instead, we must risk – one conversation at a time.

It has always been true but perhaps now, more than ever, conversations matter. And in ways that are critical to who we are and the relationships we have with one another as humans on this planet. Being fierce feels far more than aspirational today; it’s required.

Let’s do the work. Let’s risk feeling foolish. Let’s be willing to make mistakes. Let’s have the conversations…not avoid them.

This is how we’ll experience change. This is how we’ll turn the tide. This is how we can be part of DE&I discussions, initiatives, training programs, and most of all, individual conversations and relationships that deserve our effort and even our failings.

There’s so much more to be said about this topic – so much more that is ours to say – one conversation at a time. It can feel daunting, to be sure. This is why I’m profoundly grateful for Ijeoma Oluo’s voice yet again: “We can find our way to each other. We can find a way to our truths. I have seen it happen. My life is a testament to it. And it all starts with conversations.

Have you ever stopped yourself to wonder if your company has a communication problem?

Like many people, my siblings and I often text each other and our 81-year-old mother in a group message. What makes this interesting is when our mother relies on voice-to-text to send us messages, due to her poor eyesight. She assumes that her phone has a clear understanding of what she is saying and simply hits “send” without proofreading her message. 

For anyone who has attempted this or has auto-fill/correct on their phone, you likely understand the importance of proofreading messages before sending them. What often follows is a steady stream of texts, with each of us attempting to “translate” what we think our mother said. 

About 40ish messages later, we’ve stopped laughing and the conversation moves on. Sound familiar at all? It’s yet another take on the classic “telephone game”.

The Problem With Workplace Communication

Unfortunately, this very scenario (minus the laughter common amongst siblings) is what often plays out in the corporate environment. A conversation held in a meeting is relayed to others, an email is sent, a notice is posted, and everyone is left to their own interpretation of what was really said.

Or worse yet, a question is asked, no one speaks up, or everyone nods in agreement with the one comment offered, and the leader leaves thinking “we’re all on the same page.” Then they wonder why there is confusion, frustration, lack of direction, and results? Again, sound familiar?

How about feedback. Is it something that is openly offered and asked for? Is it something that you only receive once or twice a year, usually at performance reviews? 

Is most of the feedback you give and receive done at the water cooler (the actual one or the virtual one)? If feedback is not something that is actively shared on a day to day basis, then you know you have a communication problem.

What’s even more frustrating is that this is not something new. Communication problems are not a byproduct of all the immediate changes corporate America had to adapt due to COVID-19. 

This business problem is something that has been plaguing workplaces for as long as there have been workplaces. So how do you fix this? 

Ways to Uncover Workplace Communication Issues

Well, one could take the Thomas Jefferson approach. Legend has it that when they were building the University of Virginia, Jefferson would sit atop Monticello with a telescope in hand and watch the goings-on. When he spotted something that needed changing, he would send one of his hired hands down to the workers with instructions. 

While this ensured clear lines of communication, it was extremely expensive and time-consuming. It’s very likely this is where the term micromanaging originated!

So how do we do it? How do we verify whether there, in fact, is a communication problem? Several different tools have been used, each with positive and negative results. Let’s look at a few of these:

1. Town Halls

This is typically where a top leader addresses a large assembly of workers to update them on the goings-on of the company. Following this update, the leader opens things up to questions from the floor. This is great in theory – IF the organization already has a culture of open communication up and down throughout the company.

2. Anonymous Suggestion Boxes

I’ll stop at the “anonymous” part. If your communication needs to be anonymous, then you have your answer!

3. Employee Engagement Surveys

While these have proven to be effective, you need to spend the time to understand what’s going on and why. 

You need to be analyzing the subjective comments, holding focus groups, summarizing the findings, assigning action items to cross-functional groups and more, all with the hopes that you can quickly employ solutions before the next survey, or before the world presents the next big challenge to your organization.

The Best Way to Solve Workplace Communication Problems

Many have uttered, in frustration, “There has to be a better way!” And they’re right. How about starting with an assessment? If you think about it, most areas where you are attempting to improve begin with an assessment. 

The yearly physical with your doctor begins with a health assessment. Fitness programs start with a fitness assessment, so you know which exercises and specific weights to begin with. 

Most cognitive and behavioral programs begin with an assessment, and so on. So, why shouldn’t the evaluation of your company communication begin with one?

Now let me be clear, the assessment is the beginning, NOT the answer. It can give you valuable insights into strengths, gaps, and where to focus your attention. The findings help to shed light on opportunity areas that you weren’t aware of -like the corporate telephone game. 

What I often see in organizations, and this gets exaggerated the larger the organization is, is the farther down the “food chain” one is, the bigger the gap in effective communication. Why is this? Shouldn’t all of us be on the same page? Shouldn’t we all know where we are going and how we’re going to get there? 

Now I realize there are key strategy pieces and long-term visioning that aren’t practical to share with everyone, especially in publicly traded organizations. That said, the things we all work on in the day-to-day shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.

There is certainly no shortage of assessments one can pursue to determine the best fit for their organization. Many organizations are blessed to have talented learning professionals already working for them who can design their own assessments. 

If you are choosing this route, begin with that you want to know, with the end in mind. For example, design your questions to support the notion that your organization is exceptional in this area (My leader regularly updates me on ___, I have a clear understanding of my role, our objectives, I receive regular feedback…) and more. The results will show you where you need to focus your efforts.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that Fierce offers two assessments, a Fierce Factor Assessment for individuals, to see where the communication they are having in their head is helping or hurting them, and another for groups (intact teams, departments, or entire organizations). 

Each is a series of questions designed to help in showing how aligned the individual or group actually is. In other words, if there is a large gap in the perspective (or context) of the group, then there is serious work to do in the way the group communicates.

After reviewing the initial results, teams are then instructed to look at each question individually, beginning with the question with the lowest average score. They then lean into the sometimes uncomfortable yet productive conversation around what they can do to improve in this area. 

I’ve yet to see an instance where communication is not improved as a result of this exercise.

So why not do yourself, and everyone else in your organization a favor? Give your communication skills an assessment to see if everyone is on the same page. 

If you find they aren’t, great! Celebrate the fact that NOW you know what needs to be done to avoid the corporate telephone game which almost always results in confusion, frustration, lack of direction, and results.

As we continue to deal with COVID-19, we are simultaneously experiencing the tumult, outrage, and heartache associated with racism. No matter where we sit on the spectrum of emotions, it is impossible for our mental health to be unaffected. Because the topics at hand are emotional and highly-flammable, our responses to such are, as well.

Without the ability, willingness, and courage to sift and sort through the myriad of things going on in our heads and hearts, we suffer. Our mental and emotional health suffers. Our work, our health, our relationships, and our world suffers.

A recent article by the Harvard Business Review provides data:

“Since the outbreak of the pandemic, 75 percent of people say they feel more socially isolated, 67 percent of people report higher stress, 57 percent are feeling great anxiety, and 53 percent say they feel more emotionally exhausted.

It’s worth noting that these stats are related to the pandemic alone, not the larger complexities within which we’re living. It’s also worth noting that though we see words like “socially isolated,” “stress,” “anxiety,” and “emotionally exhausted,” many of us do not know what words to use to describe all that we’re feeling. And even if we do, we’re often loathed to speak them out loud.

Talking about our emotions, for many of us, is not a skill we’ve learned, nor has it been affirmed, even allowed – especially in the workplace. That gap, the empty space between what we feel and what we actually say in conversations and relationships, is in large part, what drives a lack of mental and emotional health.

I’m very familiar with that gap, believe me.

I was 40 when I entered grad school. Part of the program requirements included that I should be in therapy – a brand new experience for me!

Those 50-minute sessions over 3 years were the first times I’d ever listened to myself talk (outside of the chatter in my head or conversations with close friends). The first time I’d heard myself name out loud to anyone other than myself where, how, and why I was feeling pain. The first time I was really listened to with that level of intensity, even intimacy. It was transformational. And it was incredibly difficult. It still is.

Now I work at Fierce Conversations – an organization that trains others on how to have conversations that matter, that make an impact, that create and strengthen relationships that not only drive results but enhance all of life. Over and over we talk about emotions – why they matter, must be named, and how effective leadership depends upon such. This still is not easy – for us or our clients.

We’re not alone. Another article from Harvard Business Review says, “We hide emotions in an attempt to stay in control, look strong, and keep things at arm’s length. But in reality, doing so diminishes our control and weakens our capacity to lead – because it hamstrings us. We end up not saying what we mean or meaning what we say. We beat around the bush. And that never connects, compels, or communicates powerfully.”

We can do better.

Talking (out loud) about our own emotions and encouraging/allowing the same in those around us is a skill we must build and a priority we must hold.

We must create and sustain work (and family) cultures that value, even expect that people will name their concerns, anxiety, and fears just as easily as their delight, celebration, and joy.

If all we did was look at this through an ROI lens, we’d reach the same conclusion. A case study published by Forbes makes the following point:

“Evidence shows that investing in employee well-being can deliver bottom-line returns. And when companies approach well-being as a core business strategy, and not solely to lower employer healthcare costs, it can lead to measurable ROI through higher engagement, lower turnover, and better productivity.”

Did I mention that none of this is easy? Do I need to mention that the absence of this: is our denial or refusal of expressed feelings (and opinions, beliefs, thoughts), is at least in part, responsible for the trauma and pain we’re living in daily?

Because we’ve not allowed for and invited others’ articulated experiences and emotions, the gap has gotten wider and wider. Safety has been sucked out of far too many conversational contexts, and every kind of health – not just emotional and mental – is up for grabs: social, financial, organizational, cultural, environmental, global…the list goes on.

Steps to Take Care of Your Mental Health

No, not one bit of this is easy. But there are small, actionable steps we can take.

1. Be aware of your own emotions.

You have them, whether you talk about them, or not. What if you did? What are they? What, exactly, do you feel? When you feel these things, how does that impact your behavior – and subsequent results? Where and with whom can you name this without risk? As leaders, we cannot expect to create a safe space for others’ emotions (or emotional health) if we’re not aware of our own.

2. Ask about others’ emotions.

No agenda. No fixing. No talk of silver-linings. Simple questions asked genuinely go a long way: “What’s going on for you?” “How are you, really?” “When you consider those potential outcomes, what do you feel?” Then wait. Breathe through your own discomfort with the silence. Listen. And trust that if asked – with sincerity, consistency, and compassion – people will respond.

It takes consistency and commitment to have healthy interactions – let alone be healthy people. But to deny any of it is to our peril – individually and collectively.

Have healthy conversations with yourself. Have healthy conversations with others. Talk about health – emotional, mental, and any other forms! All of it defined by curiosity, openness, and grace.

A quote we repeat time and again at Fierce serves as mantra and motivation: “Though no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a company, a relationship, or a life [even the world]…any single conversation can.”

Some “trajectory changing” is what we most desperately need today – at work, at home, as a nation, as a planet.

Single conversations are what enable and empower all of this; single conversations that acknowledge, allow for, and invite (out loud) emotions – and emotional health. Simple, not easy. And truly, non-negotiable. One conversation at a time.